Know Yourself - Reach Heights of Success !

A letter to Bhagat Singh on his martyr's day - march 23rd

2009-03-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Bhagat Singh,

March 23^rd, 1931 – The day when you left all of us at the mere age of 23 years. Today, no 23 year old has an iota of guts as yours. It seems as if you have taken the daring, the bravery, and the boldness with you as well. Times have drastically changed.

You struggled, sacrificed, and fought against all odds to get us freedom. Leaders like Nehru and Gandhi criticized you for using “the wrong way of attaining freedom”. You surrendered without having second thought, thinking that you will dominate the British Government with your arguments, and if in case you are hanged, it will inspire generations and generations to stand for their rights. Sadly, things didn’t go as you expected. Yes, we got the so called freedom and we celebrate it ever year by observing holidays and wishing each other, etc etc. The reality is that we have become even worse slaves than ever. The worse thing is that there is no Bhagat Singh today to awake us from our endless snoring. In a way, it’s kind of positive that you are not here today otherwise you would have simply gotten frustrated to see that how horribly we are making use of the hard earned freedom.

The politicians today don’t want to serve the country; however, they don’t mind serving their Swiss accounts. The young generation, your biggest hope, is turning out to be worse and worse. They have no independent thoughts. They live in a fear of satisfying society norms and making sure they are “in”. Either they keep blaming destiny or simply decide not to do anything. If you give them a chance to speak about drawbacks in India, they will list many of them in a single breath. However, if you ask them to do anything about it, again, they list endless excuses in a single breath. Youngsters have become cowards more than they ever were. Their decisions are influenced by their favorite celebrity, or what is acceptable in society, or simply just “going with the flow”. The current education is making us even dumber by using its outdated philosophies and concepts but unfortunately everyone is dying to pursue it to ensure a “safe career”. The practical teachings are replaced by stupid exams which every student forgets the moment he is done with it.

Send a message, as you always did, to this generation to make its own life rather than letting life making them. They are becoming a parrot which repeats what he is told to repeat, without using his brain. As you could see, this letter is written out of angst toward the current situation. I had no other way to express it other than doing it this way. Hope it is heard by all who need to hear it the most.

Rest in peace.

Delhi-6.....as I see it

2009-03-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday, I happened to watch Delhi-6 at Lowes with my best pals. Since the moment I walked out of theater, there was so much in me wanting to come out but I tried to ignore it. As they say, what you resists, it persists. So, here I am, putting the journey of Delhi-6 through my eyes.

What strike me most about the movie were its characters and metaphors. Each character was speaking volumes. Unlike most movies, where you remember the main lead actor or actresses, Delhi-6 makes you notice each and every character and you completely forget that son of Big B & husband of Miss World is the main lead of the movie.

The movie revolves around kaala Bandar (black monkey) or in other words it revolves around you or me or anyone you came across the street today or anyone who has two legs and is called human. It has the potential to put you to shame if you are ready to see yourself as you are (at last).

Even though every scene and character has its own life, I want to mention couple of them which blown me away.

1. When Roshan’s grandma fell sick, Mamdu (Muslim Jalebi guy) puts thread of Hanumaan on her wrist saying that she will recover at the earliest. It clearly showed the unity among Delhi-6 people. (read point 6 and you will see how quickly human emotions fluctuate)

2. Prem Chopra marrying a girl half of his age and suspecting every guy who looks at her shows the insecurity of “dirty old man”, and in return his so called wife cheats him without any guilt. Notice the changing of channels while she was making love with the camera man…each channel was portraying the emotions that couple was going through. Infidelity was never so creative!

3. The pictureization of song ‘Dil gira kahin pe…” tells the entire mindset of Roshan. In fact, it’s the story of most of us living away from homeland and yearning to get the best of both worlds. The 5 minute song was a journey within soul itself.

4. Double standard of police man who called Jalebi a low caste woman but doesn’t mind sleeping with her every other day. It’s our image clearly...we criticize something in public but in private we do it without any guilt.

5. Throughout the movie, Kaala Bander was used unapologetically to hide weaknesses and sick mind set of people. Whenever something wrong happened, they had kaala bander to blame to. In reality, some people blame God or destiny for all the wrong stuff happening in their life. Each person has got someone to blame. Look closely, who’s your kaala bander…and kill it right away. No questions asked!

6. After Hindu & Muslim community started killing each other, they got together again to kill Roshan in the end. It depicts a harsh truth of today’s society that nothing unites people more than common hatred for someone.

7. Lastly, the so called madman carrying mirror and telling everyone to see himself in it was a brilliant idea. In fact, that madman was the only sensible person there.

All in all, Delhi-6 is a work of genius. It gives you a lot to think, a lot to be ashamed of, a lot to be proud of….many things blended together. Jai Ho….!

dO nOt BelieVe in AnythiNg...

2007-12-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

Do not believe anything simply because you have heard it….coz that’s the most stupid reason to believe anything..

Do not believe anything just because it is believed by many…coz the crowd consists of parrots who knows nothing, but just repeat like a machine what they have been taught..

Do not believe anything because you have been taught to believe it… that’s nobody’s right to make you believe something. You have your own brain. Don’t you?

Do not believe anything because it is rumored by many people….didn’t I mention “rumored” ..?

Do not believe anything just because it is written in your religious books (which are now thousands years old, & need to be updated… even though majority of teachings still hold true)

Do not believe in traditions just because they have been passed down from generation to generation…Live with awareness and in the moment..

FOR MY DEAR FELLOW STUDENTS WHO R OBSESSED WITH HIGHER GPA:

Do not believe anything just because it has been taught by professors…because a.) you have your brain to use (I guess..) b.) you need to grow up from being so damn dependant on professors.. c.) internet and books (combined with your intelligence) have so much teach you that you can teach your own professor…period.

BELIEVE IN ONLY THOSE THINGS WHICH MAKES SENSE TO YOU, AFTER A THOROUGH OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS. ONCE YOU KNOW THAT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE BELIEVE IN, JUST PUT YOUR HEART & SOUL IN IT.

For how long you will keep on living on terms and policies made by others which have been followed and lived blindly?

Know your Ego!

2007-10-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

Ego is one emotion which has caused disturbance wherever it has been. Be it professional or personal, it has uprooted every relationship. We all have it to some degree. The weird thing with ego is that not many people are willing to admit it that they have one!

So what exactly causes our ego?

Well, some people are just born with it. As the age progresses, they build it even stronger. To some people, it comes with having a class education or a high status in the society. While some people want their opinions to be right, always. Whenever they get a “yes” from anyone, their ego boosts up. This is a best way to build up your ego. By claiming all the time that you are right, and that your opinions matter the most, you will quickly reach the heights of ego. It is entirely up to you.

What damages it causes?

Its damages go from personal to professional, everywhere. In relationships, I feel it is the major cause of breaking up. There is strong need of feeling important or special in the love relations by both partners. Admit it or not, but this is ego; just presented in a different way. The truth is, rather the harsh truth is that ego and love can never coexist. One has to be kicked out. We all know that the fight between couples is mostly about “Why me always?” It is always about the “I” existing in us. Friends, please don’t let this poison destroy your love.

In professional life too, it causes great troubles. Some examples are:

->You don’t care about your subordinates.
->You want to control everything, thus giving less or no importance to others’ opinions.
->You believe that you don’t need anybody’s help because they can’t just match up to you.
->You always want yourself to win even though some body else deserves it.

Ok, now what’s the solution? The solution is to tame it. In other words, channelize it into a positive energy. Here are some ways to do so:

-Get rid of your insecurity and the need of approval from others. Egoist people are the weakest in a sense that they feel zero without people’s approval. Know that you are unique and it doesn’t’ matter if people agree with you or not.

-Watch yourself behaving horribly when your ego is dominating you. You never feel happy or at peace. You just want to control the whole world.

-Learn to laugh at your confusions. Love your flaws. Nobody is perfect and no one is here to live up to your expectations. Take it easy!

-Last but not the least, stop negative self talk.

You are welcome to post comments or send questions to me at cbh2207@gmail.com.

Jealousy in relationships

2007-10-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

We all, to some extent, feel jealous. Jealousy is like any other emotion. Some people have it to a less degree, while some people have it in a greater degree. But we all do we have it. Being a little jealous doesn’t cause much trouble since you can overcome it and then forget about it forever. But if you feel jealous easily and feel it to the extreme, I have a bad news and good news for you. The good news is that you are holding so much love for your partner inside. The bad news is that you are showing it in a terrible way, in fact in a worst way possible. Let’s examine this mental cancer and get rid of it here only.

Jealousy arises when you want to possess your partner. Inside you feel that your partner may leave you for somebody else, and this insecurity causes the jealousy in you. You start projecting this feeling on your partner frequently. By suspecting her, you create weird imaginations about your partner. You start getting jealous before anything even happens. What happens later is that she ultimately leaves you for a better or rather a less jealous person. Then you claim that your suspicion was right. However, the truth is that it was your mistrust on her which made her leave you.

You may not like any opposite sex person talking or hanging out with your partner too much. You want her love, happiness, and smiles just for you. Having physical relationship with only you makes sense, but why on earth you don’t want you partner to spread her/his friendliness around? Love is all about making your partner happy. You should be concerned only with her happiness, and not with whom she feels happy with. Do you think she will be able to feel happy with you if you take her away from others? Absolutely not. Nobody likes to be enslaved. Be secure enough that even though she will be meeting with so many people, ultimately she is yours. Freedom is very important in any relationship.

Most importantly, know that love is not some kind of patent or property that only you can have. If your partner starts liking somebody else, it’s not a big deal. Tell her that you still love her like before and by leaving him, your feelings won’t change. Respect her feelings and let her go. You know what, she won’t go. Who wants to leave such a man who loves her with such an unconditional love?

Lastly, I would suggest all my friends to understand the science behind your jealousy and drop it as early as possible. It is a very dangerous emotion. It has destroyed many relationships which could have lasted life long. Feel grateful for your love rather than being jealous.

You are welcome to post comments or send questions to me at cbh2207@gmail.com. If anyone one of you facing a problem or needs any suggestion, feel free to email me. I will try my best to help you.

Building and maintaining your attitude!

2007-10-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

Steps to build up a long lasting positive attitude:

Recognize yourself: The moment you get an idea that you are thinking something which makes you feel terrible, STOP there only! Repeatedly watch yourself if your behavior and talks contain negativity. The best way to find out if you have been a negative person is just to look at your present state of mind. If you are a positive person, there is no way that you would remain in a miserable situation for a long time. However, if you have been in "terrible" circumstances, and been facing a lot of depressing situations, then undoubtedly you are a pessimistic. I might get my share of criticism for writing this but it is a truth!

Imagination: This step involves dreaming like a baby. There is no logic and no rules followed here. Just imagine yourself as the kind of person you want to be. It could be anything. Whatever you imagine with full faith and intensity, it will start coming true in a couple of days.

Feed yourself: This relates to watching inspirational movies, reading positive books and quotes. Keep motivating yourself everyday. Thanks to technology, today we have innumerable resources on positive attitude material.

Positive statements a.k.a affirmations: Repeating positive affirmations everyday work wonders. Make a list of what you want in life. Then make positive affirmations accordingly. Repeating them daily like a mantra would help you reach your goals much faster and smoother.

It's all in the friendship: Associate yourself with people having a positive attitude and bigger dreams than yours. Negative people not only waste their own life; they also drain energy from other people. Just one word of advice: AVOID THEM!!
Meditation: The power of positive thinking increases many folds if regular meditation routine is followed side by side. It might look plain boring in the starting stages but it's worth spending at least one hour everyday in meditation.

Be thankful: Last but not the least, be thankful for EVERYTHING you have. EVERYTHING!

These tips will definitely help in boosting, as well as, in maintaining your positive attitude. It doesn't take a miracle to build a hero out of a loser. But it definitely takes a positive attitude! All the best!

7 Tips for a Motivational Week!

2007-10-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

There are no coincidences in life .Everything happens for a reason. Don't use your brain in thinking if something should have happened or not. Sooner or later, you will realize everything happened for the best!

Use every situation to your advantage. If you face failure, learn the lesson. Make sure you don't make the same mistake again. There is always a positive and a negative side of everything happening to us; it is up to you which side you want to be!

Keep a check on your thoughts. The kind of person that you are today is all because of your thoughts. And the kind of person you want to be would be again because of your thoughts. Keep feeding your mind positive thoughts; it is even more important than your daily diet.

Read the previous point again!

Get rid of your past. It has never given you anything. At the same time, stop worrying your future. Put your all potential in the present. By doing this, your efficiency will increase many times. Don't take my word for it. Try it yourself!

Whenever you see yourself following the crowd, STOP there only. Crowd consists of ordinary people. That's the reason why we have so few extraordinary people, and so many ordinary ones. Make your own path. In the beginning, you might be the only one to walk on it but soon the world will be following YOU.

Make it a habit to read few pages every day from an inspirational book. Listening or watching self growth material is very good too.

Difference between a negative (pessimistic) and a positive (optimistic) person

2007-09-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

An optimistic always comes with a solution while a pessimistic looks for a problem in every thing.

An optimistic is always ready for an action, while pessimistic looks for a reason to procrastinate.

An optimistic goes out of way to help others, while a pessimistic simply doesn’t want to help.

An optimistic wants to do something to change his circumstances while the pessimistic wants his circumstances to change automatically without him doing anything about it.

An optimistic admits his mistakes and learns from them. A pessimistic blames his wrongdoing on others.

An optimistic sees the opportunities in the present. A pessimistic regrets his past and worries about his future all the time.

An optimistic always counts his blessing while a pessimistic feels sorry for him all the time.

Just know what category of person you fit in, and from thereon take responsibility to change yourself.

In the end, I would like to mention Mr. Carnegie’s statement which so clearly distinguishes between a pessimistic and optimistic. He says, “When you go digging for an ounce for gold, you have to move tons of dirt to get an ounce of gold. But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold.” The same way you need to focus on positive things and the blessing n your life, which is gold. Ignore and fade way all the negativity coming to you, which undoubtedly is a heap of dirt.

Love and Blessings

~ Chandresh

Be thankful for your healthy body!

2007-09-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

Do you realize that we go on living without being even a least grateful for our healthy bodies? All day, we do so much work using our mental and physical power, and yet at the end of the day, we take it for granted. We only realize that we have legs when they are in pain. During pain, we pray that it gets healed as early as possible. The same situation follows with other body parts too. We pray for healthy eyes when we get eye flue. When there is no pain, we just keep on living unconsciously without being thankful at all.

Your body is very important tool for whatever task you want to accomplish. Never ever take it for granted. Not only you should make it point to take care of it by feeding it health food, but a regular exercise and yoga is a must too. At the beginning and the end of the day, make it a point to thank for your body parts. In the beginning, it may look weird to you because nobody has ever taught you to thank for your healthy body. You are taught to take it for granted. It’s about time you start living the right way. Be thankful for your brain, legs, hands, eyes, and everything you have been blessed with. You will see that by appreciating your body, you will not only accomplish your work more efficiently but your health will improve too! Trust me; you won’t lose anything by thanking your own body. You will only gain!

Love and blessings!

-Chandresh

Put your 100 percent in everything that you do!

2007-09-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

We have several roles to play in life. The problem comes when we are not able to play these roles well. As a result, we get frustrated and upset which makes the situation even worse. The problem with most of the people is that when they are doing one thing, they are thinking of some other thing. For example, when you are at work, you think about your family or friends. When you are with your friends, you think about your career and work issues. This way, you are never fully present at any moment.

What you need to do is to involve yourself fully at what you are doing. When you are partying, party like there is no tomorrow. The same way when you work, do it in such a way that you don’t think about anything else. When you are doing your work, put your total effort into it. You are going to spend your time anyways doing it, so do it with full participation. This way, you will stop living a dual life. Being more in present will surely increase your efficiency, as well as, deepen your peace of mind.

Love and blessings!

-Chandresh

Do you know WHAT you want?

2007-09-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

What is it that you want from life? Is your answer that firstly you want to be a good human being, and then everything else will come? Are you aware that majority of human race wants to be that damn “good human being”, but none of them know how to be one? They just like the sound of it, I guess.

The same problem is with people who say they want to be a good doctor, businessman, lawyer, etc. because they all know what particular field they want but have no idea how to get there and what to do after they reach there. A medical student usually says that he will work hard and will become the best doctor. If you ask him, what comprises “work hard”, he won’t have the answer besides saying that he will get good score in the exams. More than half students in any class get above average scores but still it is only 2 or 3% students who outshine in the world outside the school or college. The reason is simple those few know how to be that top notch person in their field and most importantly they are aware what they want to do after they reach there.

If you drive your automobile with no directions and no address, you won’t reach anywhere. You will be just driving and wasting your energy, and ending up nowhere. Life follows the same rules. If, everyday, you wake up and do your routine job and then go to sleep, you won’t go anywhere. What you need to do is to first find out that what exactly you want from life. Is it good academic success, a satisfying family life, or monetary success? Whatever it is, write down everything that you want. Then from that moment onwards, keep thinking how you can reach where you want to go. Every morning when you wake up, think of at least one way which will take you a step ahead in your plan. Before you sleep, see how much you went ahead. Doing this simple steps everyday, suddenly you will realize that you have reached your goals. You have reached your dreams. And it is no miracle! All you did was thinking clearly WHAT you wanted, and then making step by step progress towards it. Again I am reminding you that that keyword is to find out what do you want!

Now when people reach their goals, sometimes they fall down or just don’t enjoy what they got. Isn’t it the same dream they always yearned for?? Then, why still they are not able to enjoy that? In love relationships, couples want each other so badly. Their level of attraction is at peak that time but when they get together problems starts to come up. Isn’t it the same person they were ready to die for one day? The problem is that they don’t know what to do next after achieving what they wanted to!

Firstly, know how to maintain what you have earned. You got it because you worked for it. Secondly, do something with it. Know what your soul wants from it. The moment you know what you want from your achieved success, your relationships, etc, you will grow so much as a human being that you will become inspiration to many others.

In brief, two things:

Know what you want. Take little steps everyday to reach your goals.

Most importantly, when you achieve your goal, know what you want to get out of it. Take it to the next higher level whether it is a materialistic or spiritual goal.

Love and Blessings

~ Chandresh

StoP Judging...

2007-09-03T15:44:00.000-07:00

The cause of all the problems is too much judgmThe cause of all the problems is too much judgment. I am not saying that judging something is bad. Well, if you don’t have a good judgment, you may be left behind in this highly competitive world. But I want you to limit your judgment to only your professional life. Whether you are a student, businessman, a doctor, or anybody, just don’t get your judgmental attitude in your personal life. Having a sharp judgment will take you places but if you start using it in your personal life, it will create a big mess for you.

Looking at something without being judgmental is a solution for all the problems. The solution of getting angry, lazy, jealous, depressed, and all others problems is only one: just witness them as if it’s happening to some third person. Don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself. Let me give an example of it; sometimes your friends get depressed, you have all sorts of advices for them. Most of the times, you get succeeded in taking them out from depression. The reason is because you don’t get identified with it. You look at their problems from an outsider’s point of view. It is human nature that we are very good at cleaning other people’s mess but when it comes to clean our own, we get messed up ourselves. When you apply to this to your life, you will get succeeded in getting rid of your problems too because now you are looking at yourself as some third person.

From now onwards, when you get angry, just look at yourself without being judgmental. Just look what you are feeling and what you want to do. Slowly, you will realize the stupidity of getting angry over minor mattress. Same ways, when depressed, don’t do anything; just witness your feelings going up and down. You will realize that all this transformed energy from anger, depression, etc will make you a totally new person. You will have so much energy inside you that you have no idea. There will be a unique glow on your face. Other people will feel attracted to you for the reasons even they are unaware of. Your efficiency of doing work will become so high. Transforming all your negative and positive energies by witnessing will take you very high.

Just like when weather around us changes, we don’t do anything; we just watch it changing from season to season. The same way we need to deal with our life problems too. Always witness yourself as a third person. Don’t get involved in your mind chattering. You got enough jobs to do in the world. So, from now on, doesn’t matter what feelings you are having, you can always transform them according to what you want and not what they want out of you!ent. I am not saying that judging something is bad. Well, if you don’t have a good judgment, you may be left behind in this highly competitive world. But I want you to limit your judgment to only your professional life. Whether you are a student, businessman, a doctor, or anybody, just don’t get your judgmental attitude in your personal life. Having a sharp judgment will take you places but if you start using it in your personal life, it will create a big mess for you.

Let God relax....

2007-08-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

Do you pray to God everyday to give you all that you want? Do you tell him about all your frustrations and disappointments? Do you argue with him on why He made you like this or why he gave you such a struggling life to live? If your answer to any of my questions is “yes”…or a “may be”, then probably you are one of those people who are not letting God relax. Yes, He needs rest too. He needs rest from our complaints, our endless demands, and much more that we keep on bothering Him with. C’mon, grow up!!

He has done His job by giving us a beautiful life. He gave us brains, muscle power, amazing mind power, and basically everything that would be required to live a life we want to. But, yeah it’s just too easy to blame Him for things we don’t have. Everything around us is our creation. Our thoughts and actions have created the world around us. These terrorist activities, earthquakes, failed relations, disappointments, and everything else is our creation. At the same time, the beautiful things existing on earth is a creation of all those beautiful minds residing on earth. God is just observing. He doesn’t judge the way we judge every damn thing happening. He doesn’t hate or love people the way we do. His love is unconditional. He considers no profit, no loss; just love, and lots of love. The day we are born, He is residing in us at that moment. But as we grow up, we force Him to go away from inside us by corrupting our soul with jealousy, dishonesty, hatred, etc.

Just for once, consider yourself in His place. I know just even a thought of it vibrates everything in your body. You may have been taught that God is there for all our problems and he is the one who give us everything. The people who taught you this forgot to teach to you that God has finished His job at the moment when He created us with so much potential and so much power. We can have all that we want by using our potentials to the best level possible. Just use it ONCE!! It’s not that hard. If you want to go beyond your usual status, you need to do things in an unusual status. Just living a plain ordinary way of life won’t do it! Always remember, GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES!

So what is it that we should do to make Him relax? First of all, understand that prayer is not a form of asking something. A prayer is a statement of being thankful to God for every single thing we have. All we have today is because of the amazing power he has gifted us with. Thank Him for every single breathe. Thank Him for your job, family, friends, and all that you have today. JUST THANK HIM! Ask him to bless you even more because now you are going to start taking responsibility for every good or bad thing happening to you. Just thanking Him for everything will give so much prosperity and peace which is indescribable! Don’t take my word for it; experience it yourself!

Love and Blessings
~ Chandresh

Being imperfect is perfectly fine...

2007-08-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

Some people just don’t like the idea of being imperfect. However I personally believe that being imperfect is a blessing because the moment we become “perfect”, that would be a disaster to our inner creativity. The so called “perfect” people reach at certain saturation point where they refuse to try and learn anything new because they think what they know and do is already the “perfect”. For a “perfect” person there is no scope left for our inner growth. But an imperfect person has so many advantages. He has so much scope to grow. He can find immense opportunities wherever he goes. He can work hard for his long cherished dreams. An imperfect will have chance to learn from his failures and mistakes. While a “perfect” person would miss all these opportunities to learn. A “perfect” person would have certain set of rules / discipline and he wouldn’t try different course of doing things because that may disturb his so called “perfect” life. While an imperfect would take all the risks, and he will certainly learn from each of his action.

Love and BlessingS

~ Chandresh

Don't Fight with the DarkneSS.....

2007-08-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

Before you go ahead reading this, let me ask you a question. Suppose you are locked up in a dark room, and you are told to fade away all the darkness. What would you do? How can you get rid of darkness? What if you fight against it? It never worked and never will. Let’s see…what if you abuse it or try some other sort of technique? Nothing would work! The ONLY technique that can get rid of darkness in the room is to get more and more light. In fact, you have to do NOTHING with darkness. Let it remain as it IS. All you need is lightening a bulb or a candle or basically anything that would bring light in the room. The point is clear that when getting rid of darkness, all your efforts should be toward getting more and more of light!

My friends, the SAME formula works with our negative thoughts too. When negative thought arise in our mind, we fight against it. We proudly stand against our negative thoughts and then wonder why it keeps coming back! Always remember that whenever you fight against negativity, it will bounce back with much greater energy. For example, if you get a thought, “I have so poor communication skills. I can’t even talk properly with my friends!” Now, most of you will fight against this thought by saying to yourself that, “I don’t have poor communication skills. I will not talk poorly among my peers” This will make the situation even worse because now you are not going anywhere. You are rephrasing your negative thought into another negative statement which won’t give you any results because (a) you are fighting against your negative thought, and (b) you are still using negative sentences in your talk. Instead, you should be saying, “I have excellent communication skills. I talk so well among my friends as well as with everyone else”

The difference in the latter statement is that it focuses on the positive aspect. It is not doing anything with the negative aspect at all. Let your negative thoughts remain where they are. Don’t even care about them. If you REALLY want to do something, then just watch them as if they are happening to some outsider. Fill your mind with so much positive energy that your negative thoughts remain in a negligible value. If you keep on practicing this, then sooner or later there won’t be any negative thoughts. It is simply because you are not paying any attention to them. Don’t encourage them by answering them back or giving them your own arguments. Below are some examples of replacing negatives thoughts to positive ones.

Negative: My husband/wife gives me so little time.
Positive: Even though he/she is so busy, he still try to take time for me.

Negative: I am going to do worst in my interview.
Positive: I am going to try my best in my interview. And I am sure I will do my best!

Negative: My future is totally blank.
Positive: My future is filled with immense opportunities, and I will be very successful in whatever I do.

Negative: He/she didn’t pick up my phone today. I wonder if he/she still likes me!!
Positive: I am sure he/she is busy or occupied with some work. I know when they get chance, they will call me back.

By regularly practicing above methods, you will see unexpected changes happening in our daily routine. It’s not that some sort of magic will take place. The key is that by thinking more and more positive thoughts, you will create a positive aura around you which eventually will attract positive circumstance thus giving you success in whatever you do.

Make a promise to yourself that you will not think of any single negative thought from now on. People may criticize that optimistic people don’t live in reality. I guarantee that once you become a die hard optimistic, you will create your own reality. You will create your own circumstances. Trust me on this one!

Love and BlessingS

~ Chandresh

Getting Inspired from Nature....

2007-08-24T22:50:00.000-07:00

I often wonder that even though we have been born and brought up in the nature, yet we never even think of it even once a day! Nature includes almost everything surrounding us. The beautiful sunrise, green trees, flowers, waterfall, rivers, and what not. If you ever take time from your so called busy life, you will realize that nature has so many things to teach you. Every day, it’s teaching you something. Unfortunately, we have become so blind with our frustrations that we never get the point. Let’s see what needs to be learned from our surroundings:

Sun rising and Sun set:

It may look very monotonous to some people. But the rising and setting of sun is of immense value. The rising of sun teaches us that no matter what happened, you WILL rise. Your “yesterday” may be full of disappointments but your “today” will bring great hope with it. The reason today is called ‘present’ because it IS a gift from God. Don’t take it for granted. Use it in every way you can. Same way, setting of sun teaches that whatever goes up can come down. Never forget who you were and where you came from. Be humble and down to earth. You are up in the sky because people carry you on their shoulders, the moment they leave you, you will taste the dirt. Sun set also teaches us to have a hope that after every sun set there comes a sun rise, which brings a new hope and a million new opportunities.

Trees:

All of you pass by many trees everyday but none of you bothered to ever think about what it has been trying to tell you since ages. A tree knows only to give. It takes in our carbon dioxide and gives out oxygen which is much needed for our survival. Clearly, it teaches us to be humble and to give out love without expecting anything in return. It is a wonder that trees give life-saving oxygen to us, and we are the ones cutting them down. If trees were like human beings, it would have stopped long ago this process of giving out oxygen. Whatever we do, our first thought is, “What am I getting out of this??” Forget about everything else, we can’t even love anyone if we don’t get love in return. Don’t you think its time that we leave these ways behind and at least learn this lesson from trees and the flowers around us. Have you ever seen a flower that refuse to give you its fragrance just because you didn’t praise it or didn’t like it. No, right? Only we have become this way. If you still can’t think about it, read this paragraph again.

Oceans:

Oceans teach us to expand our goodness as far as we can. The ships and boats in the ocean make us realize that as we pass through sea full of storms and havoc, we should remain as strong as ever. A calm sea has never made a skillful sailor. Any fool can sail in a silent sea but it is only bold and brave who learns how to tackle with a rough sea. I suggest you to watch the ships and boats struggling in a sea when its rough weather because that will make you realize that no matter what obstacles you face in life, you WILL face each one of them boldly. Ships are very safe in the harbor but they are not made to be in the harbor. They are made to be in the sea and to face every thing that comes in their way and still end up as a winner. Same way, we humans may feel very safe and secure doing our routine jobs but we are born to do what nobody has done yet. We are born to do something which will raise everybody’s eyebrow! The question is have you realized what is it that YOU want to do?

For now, I will just stop here and let you meditate over what all I said above. If I make anyone of you follow the nature even a bit, I will feel succeeded.

Readers are welcome to send their opinions, doubts, or questions at cbh2207@gmail.com. Also, I can be contacted regarding any advice related to career, relationships, academics, and anything that is bothering you!

Love and BlessingS

~ Chandresh

Anger..not so bad an emotion...and not so difficult to change..

2007-08-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

Anger is present in all of us, though its intensity varies from person to person. Even though anger is almost always seen as a negative trait, expressing it once in a while is not a bad thing. If you cannot express anger, you will find it equally difficult to express other feelings such as love, because the repressed anger will surface.

Angry people express hostility they have toward you, which makes you aware of the harm they could possibly inflict. For this reason, you do not fear the person. But you need to be concerned about the people who never get angry with you. Most likely, this person has been repressing their feelings and one day will burst like a volcano. I am not encouraging anger here. What I am saying is that anger is an emotion that needs to be managed properly.

So what needs to be done? How can we get rid of anger without repressing it?

• Understand the science behind your feelings. You don't have to behave in an aggressive manner just because you have done so in the past. Life is spontaneous and ever-changing, so live in the present and be mature enough to grow out of conditioned behavior.

• Remember that no one in the world lives by your expectations. Realize that you needn't be angry if others don't do what you expect.

• Instead of getting angry at your problems, see them as challenges and opportunities, which are essential for your growth as a human being.

However, if this advice does not seem to work for you, take note of the following anecdote, which talks about a father and his short-tempered son. One day, the father gives his son 100 nails and tells him to nail them each to a wall, then take them out one by one. It takes the son forever to accomplish this as the nails are fixed deeply into the wall. Frustrated, the son asks the father the purpose of wasting his time with this silly act. His father explains that the nails are representative of anger. It's easy to put nails in the wall but taking them out is very hard. In addition, even after you take all the nails out they leave behind a mark. The same situation applies to anger. It's very easy to behave violently when angry. The hard part is to bring back the trust and love you had with the person beforehand. Even after you apologize, things are often not the same and your anger has left a painful impression. The son certainly learned his lesson,. The question is, have you?

2007-08-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

This is often attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta, as a copy was on her wall, but it was written by Kent M. Keith when he was 19, and first published by the Harvard Student Agencies in 1968.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, self centered….FOGIVE THEM ANYWAY

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, hidden motives…BE KIND ANYWAY

If you are successful, you will win some false friends & true enemies….SUCCEED ANYWAY

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you….BE HONEST & FRANK ANYWAY

What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight….BUILD ANYWAY

If you find happiness and serenity, people may be jealous...BE HAPPY ANYWAY

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow…DO GOOD ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough….KEEP ON GIVING YOUR BEST ANYWAY

You see, In the final analysis, its all between you & God…IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY…

Learn to Talk with yOurseLf.....

2007-08-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Before you start reading this, I want you to do the following experiment: Close your eyes and say to yourself, at least 10 times: "I am sad." By the time you say it the 10th time, you will feel a lot of sadness flowing in you. But do not worry, you are not alone. There are many people who say these depressing words to themselves and then wonder why so many “bad” things happen to them. Now take another minute and say to yourself, "I am very happy." After saying that, a smile will most likely appear on your face. Doing this exercise, we could clearly see the difference in positive and negative talks.

Since our childhood we are taught to talk with our teachers, parents, and other people. In college, we have so called “intensive communication” courses which teach us how to communicate properly in this highly competitive world. What these educational institutions failed to teach is the way how we talk with ourselves! It doesn’t matter how “professionally’ or “decently” you talk with everybody, you will not create success for you unless you know how to talk with yourself.

What we are today and what we will become tomorrow depends solely on our thoughts. To change thoughts is not an easy task. We have been conditioned to think negative. And now to change your basic nature would take up some effort. BUT the day you start changing it, you will not be the same person. I heard once that if you think are powerful you are right, and if you think you are weak, even then you are right. So true! You become what you think about yourself. What other people think of you as a person depends a lot on what YOU think and believe about yourself.

All these “natural calamities” taking place all over the world are the result of our negative thoughts about everything. We have so much hatred and frustration inside us which then create the negative vibrations around us. These negative vibrations then affect the people around us which ultimately affect the environment surrounding us. This way everything gets negative. All these earthquakes, wars, accidents, etc are the results of our negative attitude.

It’s high time that we change our thoughts. We have been used to of depending upon others for every new thing we have to learn. BUT this you have to learn yourself. Nobody can teach you this; you need to develop the discipline and willpower to change your life because ultimately it is you who will reap the benefits. Reading books, listening to tapes, visiting websites, won’t change your attitude unless you get out of your comfort zone.

In future blogs, I will shed light on various other ways which will help you to change your thoughts. Your new thoughts will pave way for a path traveled by a very few people. Trust me on this one!

Love and Blessings

-Chandresh

Get out of comfort zOne...go out of limitS

2007-08-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

When we are born, we are like a book full of blank pages. The first beginning pages of this book are written by our society and our family. We are taught about the “right” and the “wrong”. Some of the next pages are written by the environment around us. By the time we are teenagers, half of our life is written. Now, when we are finally mature enough to think about our life, we are left with very few choices. We are told that we can excel in some things while some things are not made for us. Keeping these few options in mind, we go ahead. We do things that we are supposed to do which includes completing education, getting a good job, having good relationships, etc etc.

While pursuing all this, we never ever realize that we ARE capable of achieving 100 times more than we think we are capable of. It is the most unfortunate part of human life that we have not yet been able to utilize our potential to the fullest. If you think doing well in studies or getting the top notch job is utilizing your capabilities to the best, then you are mistaken big time! There is much MORE to life. You can be the BEST person in all the things you do. Be it in relationships or academics or financially, and much beyond all these.

I, Chandresh Bhardwaj, PROMISE you that if you sincerely follow everything that is posted in the blog, you will live the life you have always dreamed of. You will breathe the air full of peace, satisfaction, and love.

ALL YOU NEED IS IMMENSE BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO LIMITS FOR YOU….NO LIMITS…..

Keeping this in mind, let’s proceed to a path you would never want to return from…

Love and Blessings

-Chandresh